ARIES

Is there fire in the building? You have to leave right away! Eat green salad, eat fruit salad, jazz dancing.

TAURUS

You should loosen up. Try putting flowers in your hair.

GEMINI

Someone pour me a drink.

CANCER

You will receive a big brown bag stuffed with papers. Enjoy every minute of it!

LEO

You are very organized. Enjoy the crab cakes.

VIRGO

Play it by ear. Have some fruit salad and shrimp salad. That’s a good plan.

LIBRA

I hope you like the party. Do a jazz dance. Seven years ago you were tall as a tree.

SCORPIO

Go to Poland. Treat yourself to vanilla coconut. Treat yourself to bagels. Be the sideshow.

SAGITTARIUS

Be a vegetarian. Eat beans and guacamole. Do the spinning dance.

CAPRICORN

Enjoy life, go to Jack London Square. Do the Mashed Potato and Gravy.

AQUARIUS

This is a space year. Try to be hot as a woman.

PISCES

Firefly, next year you will eat too many chicken fajitas.